Goodbye
by spn22
Summary: This story is sad- I'm sorry. It came to my head after re-watching episode 1 of season 9. What if Sam had died? How would Dean cope with having to admit defeat and say goodbye?


_This story is sad- I'm sorry. It came to my head after re-watching episode 1 of season 9. What if Sam had died? How would Dean cope with having to admit defeat and say goodbye?_

_I'm very happy this scenario didn't happen! It was just a sad idea I had and wanted to write- it made me upset writing it so please do not read if you don't like main character deaths in a fanfic. _

_I don't usually write anything this sad- please review if you get the chance. _

_I do not own Supernatural. _

* * *

><p>"I'll leave you two alone."<p>

Dean didn't speak or even notice the door shut. The increasing beeping became background noise.

There was nothing. Nothing he could do.

He had failed. Failed the most important person in his life.

Dean stood, shaking. He felt light headed and sunk, unresistant, to his knees.

"Oh God. Oh God..." Dean whimpered, his voice sounding choked and unfamiliar. Dean looked at the floor. He counted squares. One, two, three, four, five...

He began counting, unknowingly, in time to the beeps. The beeps that told him his brother was still alive. That, for now, Sam was alive. _While there's life, there's hope._

Dean looked up at the bed. In his heart he knew. Knew that Sam's time was short. That maybe he was already somewhere else... somewhere better.

He rose to his feet again, suddenly unable to keep still.

What if he allowed Sam to be possessed? What if he made another deal? Another bargain? What if there was another spell?

His life had been a constant 'what if'.

_What if he dies and you don't say goodbye? What if he becomes another Mom, another Dad? Somebody else you love that you don't get chance to say goodbye to? Not Sam. Not with Sam. _

Dean stopped pacing as he stood over Sam's bed. A choke rose in his throat.

"It's going to be okay." Dean sat down on the chair next to the bed. "You hear me, Sammy? It's going to be okay. I... I'm just sorry. Sorry I couldn't save you. I..."

The beeping began to get slower. A nurse appeared, glanced at the equipment and gave Dean a sad smile.

"Not long."

Dean allowed tears to fall.

"Is he...is he in pain?"

"No." The nurse spoke softly placed a hand on his shoulder. "No, we've made sure of that."

"Can he hear me?"

The nurse squeezed his shoulder. "I like to think so. I believe that he can... I truly do."

"Can I touch him?"

"Of course... "

The nurse backed away leaving Dean with Sam.

Dean reached for Sam's hand, rubbing his thumb up and down.

"I...I don't know what to say. Hell, here we are...and I don't know what to say."

The beeping became slower but louder.

"You'd have..." Dean's voice became more consumed by tears but he gave a small laugh. "You'd have been better at this...you'd have...composed a freaking poem or something. You'd have it planned... I... I can't... I just don't..."

Dean let his forehead fall onto Sam's hand.

"Oh, Sammy... what am I going to do without you? What am I...what am I going to do?"

Dean heard the horrendous sound of the flat-line.

"No...no. Oh God, no. Not yet..." Dean's voice was no more than a whisper, sobs burst unpredictably from his throat. "Not yet, Sammy, please...not yet."

He felt the nurse gently place another hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Mr Winchester. He's gone."

Dean buried his head in his arms, his hand still tight in Sam's.

"I'll leave you alone. Take as long as you need, sir."

Dean heard the door shut and looked down at Sam's white face.

"Sammy... I'm sorry, man..."

Dean fell onto his brothers chest, his sobs racking his whole body. His heart ached feeling Sam's motionless body, not returning the hug. He stayed like that for a while, until, exhausted, he rose back up, wiping a hand across his face.

"Sammy...I'm...I'm going to go now. I don't know where... I don't know what I'm going to do...but I know...I know my life was being your big brother. I'm not sure... how good I was...but thank you, for letting me be your brother.

Dean brushed Sam's hair from his forehead and planted a kiss. He left his hand on Sam's forehead for a second.

"I love you, Sammy. Good...goodbye. I'll always love you. Say hey to everyone for me, yeah? Get a cold beer ready for me."

Dean somehow walked out of the room. His eyes fixed forward. The life that he knew left behind.

* * *

><p><em>Sorry about all the sadness! <em>


End file.
